


help distract me

by realityrewind



Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Pining, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Touch-Starved, i love making these two talk about their feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 16:39:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18814846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/realityrewind/pseuds/realityrewind
Summary: Jay eyed the spot next to Tim on the bed, before looking away. He seemed to fight with himself for a few moments, then nodded once as if making up his mind. He got up and made his way over to the bed. Fingers clenched at his sides, he made nervous eye contact. “Help distract me.”His immediate thoughts are ones of taking Jay into his arms and kissing him senseless, but he figured that isn’t what his friend actually wants.Unfortunately..   .   .In which Tim is a pining mess





	help distract me

**Author's Note:**

> every marble hornets fic i write is exactly the same cbgdzfdg

Tim doesn’t exactly know when he started having these feelings for Jay.

It was as if one minute, he was on the run with someone he hardly knew, and the next he was daydreaming about how it would feel to kiss the nape of his companion’s neck as he spooned him from behind.

Once the thought of “ _Kissing Jay could be kind of nice”_ crossed his mind, there was no going back.

He was being pulled under by his imagination, scenarios of spilling his guts to Jay, of small acts of intimacy. Last night, he awoke and swore he could feel thin arms wrapped around him before realizing he was, in fact, alone. Only blankets to keep the longing for the man in the next bed over at bay. He was drowning and there wasn’t a god damn thing he could do about it.

Jay had been pretty stressed lately. More so than usual, at least. He seemed pent up, nervous energy practically shooting out from his entire body. It screamed _don’t touch me, don’t come near me,_ and Tim got the message.

Or, at least his body did. But his mind had other ideas.

Tim imagined himself scooping Jay up from the shitty desk chair he was perched on, away from the laptop he had been glued to for the past few days. He wanted to press soft kisses onto his forehead, down to his lips. He wanted to feel Jay’s contented sigh against his own mouth, then cuddle with him until they fell asleep.

He doesn’t do any of those things, of course. Instead, he laid on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. He tugged at his bottom lip with his teeth, trying and failing to distract himself from his thoughts.

Jay huffed and slammed his laptop shut. Upon getting no response from Tim, he huffed again. Louder.

“What is it?” Tim mumbled, not bothering to move and look up. He’d just end up staring at the other man’s lips and embarrassing himself.

“I…! Don’t know.” Jay drawled out.

Tim snorted. “You don’t _know_?”

“No!” Jay yelped, throwing his arms up over his head dramatically. “I don’t know! I don’t understand these _stupid_ response videos we always get, and I don’t even understand _why_ the last entry even got a response! _I don’t know anything_!” He raked his hands across his face with a groan.

“I think you need to take a break. You’ve been on your laptop basically nonstop since we got to this motel four days ago.” Tim sat up and swung his legs over the bottom edge of the bed, possible embarrassment be damned. Jay was obviously getting to his breaking point.

“But I…” Jay stood, only to sit back down a moment later. “I don’t know what else to do.” He glanced down at the desk that was littered with his notes on the latest totheark video. “I don’t really have any footage to edit right now, and I already showered last night…”

“Well, uh. What kind of stuff did you like doing before?”

“Before…?”

“Yeah, you know. Before the tapes and the eldritch horror that seems to love to chase us around, before- “ _Before us_ , he was going to say. But there is no _us_ , just Jay and Tim, completely separate. The only connection being their god-awful situation. Tim ignored the twinge of pain in his chest.

“Hmm,” Jay thought for a few beats. “Honestly, I don’t really remember. I think I mostly just, sat in my room. Alone.” The man turned away from Tim, looking ashamed.

“Oh.” Tim’s eyes darted away, searching the room for something to make his companion feel better. “Well, it’s not like I got out much, so I can’t judge you, or anything. Not that I would.”

“Thanks.” Jay replied drily. He eyed the spot next to Tim on the bed, before looking away. He seemed to fight with himself for a few moments, then nodded once as if making up his mind. He got up and made his way over to the bed. Fingers clenched at his sides, he made nervous eye contact. “Help distract me.”

His immediate thoughts are ones of taking Jay into his arms and kissing him senseless, but he figured that isn’t what his friend actually wants. _Unfortunately._

“How?” he finally asked, hoping the man couldn’t see the light flush to his face.

Jay flopped down next to him. “I dunno. Anything, just- talk to me.” He drummed his fingers against his mouth, a gesture which Tim wished he could ignore. “Tell me about, uh. About past crushes you’ve had.”

 _Well that’s not what I expected._ Tim could have sworn that Jay was blushing. “Past crushes? Wow, what are you, _twelve_? Are we at a slumber party right now?” He teased in his deadpan voice, hoping it would mask how flustered he actually felt.

“Oh, shut up!” Jay halfheartedly pushed at Tim’s shoulder.

Tim falls back onto the bed dramatically. “Oh, ow! Jay, how could you have done this to me! I might not ever recover!”

“Now who’s acting like their twelve?” Jay leaned over Tim, giggling.

 _Oh fuck, he’s so cute._ “Whatever.”

Jay laid back down on his side, still looking at Tim expectantly.

The brown-eyed man blew out a nervous sigh, running a hand through his hair. “So…you know I’m gay, right?”

“Oh, uh. Not exactly.” Jay stuttered out.

“ _Not exactly_? What does that even mean?”

“ _I mean_ , I thought I _maybe_ remembered you telling me and Alex once a long time ago but. I _then_ I thought I might have made that up or something…” Jay trailed off, sounding a bit embarrassed by the admission.

Tim’s brain was working overtime analyzing the other man’s words. _Why would he have thought he made it up? Why was he even thinking about it?_

“Okay…well. I’ve had a few crushes. Some dudes from classes I had back in college.” _You_. “I’ve never seriously dated anyone before. Actually, I haven’t really had much experience in the romance department.” He rolled his eyes to hide his insecurity. “Shocking, I know.”

“It kind of is, actually.” Jay said with such sincerity that Tim heart lurched.

“How so? I’m a chain smoking “crazy person”,” he argued, using air quotes. “What guy would want to deal with that?”

"Tim, just. Shut up." He fumbled over his words, letting out a breathy laugh. "Have you ever looked in the mirror? You’re like, really attractive.” He paused. “Plus, you're a genuinely good person, I mean, you’re helping me out, and deep down, you really care about people. You'll find someone, I know it." 

Tim schooled his expression carefully, not wanting to give away how hard his heart was thumping in his chest. His emotions were a swirling mess inside. It hurt realizing just how much he wanted Jay to be that person, but he never will be. _How did I fall so hard so fast?_

"Uh, thanks. You're not so bad yourself." He cringed, sure that Jay will suspect how he actually felt. 

After a few painfully silent moments, Jay rolled over on his side to face Tim. "I'm sorry I'm making everything awkward. Its just- talking to you makes me feel less like the world is ending. You're a very grounding person." 

"It's fine, I don’t really mind." _If you could stop saying things that make my heart feel like its gonna give out that be great._ "So, what about you?" 

Jay's face went blank. "What about me?" 

"How's your love life? At least, how was it before all this." Tim asked with false casualty. 

"Oh. Uh, well- I. I've only had one. One crush, I mean. One big one, at least." He stuttered out, growing red. 

_Oh God, why did I ask. He obviously still isn’t over this person._

Jay signed. "I... I’ve never had any experience with anyone. Alex actually offered to kiss me once, just to get the whole first kiss thing out of the way." He laughed humorlessly. "But I couldn’t do it. I don’t know if I was too nervous or if I was worried it would ruin our friendship somehow...I guess it doesn’t matter anymore..."

Their hands are touching now, just slightly. Knuckles grazing knuckles. Tim shivered slightly. He wanted to kiss Jay, desperate to rid the man of whatever sadness he was feeling. He didn’t of course. He didn’t think he would be special enough for Jay's first kiss. 

"I haven’t kissed anyone either." Tim confessed. 

"Seriously?" Jay's eyes went wide. 

"Yeah, uh. I guess intimacy was never easy for me. I used to cuddle with Brian though, the guy was so touchy." He smiled, though it was bittersweet. 

"Was he one of your crushes?" 

"No, it wasn’t like that. I do love him though. He's...he _was_ my best friend." Talking about Brian was always bittersweet.

"Ah." 

It grew quiet again, but less tense. Jay was staring where their hands were touching. He twined their fingers together absentmindedly. 

Tim's breath caught in his throat. 

Jay looked up at him, as if confused by Tim's reaction. Then his eyes widened, shooting back and forth between their hands and the other man before ripping their fingers apart. 

"Sorry!" He pulled away as he sat up, curling into himself. "Sorry, I... I just miss being...close to another person, I guess..." 

Tim hesitantly reached over to Jay, hand hovering near his forearm. "Is this okay?"  _What am I doing?!_

"Yeah," Jay whispered, and Tim rested his palm on his arm. _Yeah. Okay, this is happening._ He slid his hand down and twined their fingers together once again, squeezing lightly. 

"Still okay?" _I sure am not, Christ._

Jay nodded in response. 

"Good...well, look. I know we aren't exactly close. And this might be weird, or awkward, or whatever. But I'm here, y'know. If you need me."  _That was great, Tim. You're really just **so** eloquent. _

Jay was smiling lightly, his gaze soft. "I never thought that touching someone else would feel so nice..." he stiffened at his own words, blushing rising quickly to his face. "Oh, I mean- I didn’t mean it like that! Jesus-" Tim barked out a laugh. Jay became indignant, though he couldn’t stop the giggles escaping from himself. "Shut up! You know what I meant!" 

"Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I can’t laugh at you." 

"Hey!" 

Their bickering felt so easy, and Tim's heart grew warm. They were still chuckling together when Jay started rubbing tiny circles with his thumb across Tim's hand. _God, I have feelings for you._

Jay suddenly stopped laughing, and Tim felt him jolt. He looked up at the other man, confused. "What?" 

"What did you just say...?" 

Tim's smile dropped. Panic stabbed at his ribs. "Uh. What do you mean?"

"Did you just...did you just say that you have feelings for me?" Jay asked, and Tim, for the life of him, could not read what Jay could possibly be feeling. _Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck._

"No, I-" Tim pulled his hand away. "I mean- shit. I didn't realize I said that out loud." 

"So you do...?"

"Fuck, Jay. I'm sorry. I wasn't holding your hand to- to take advantage of you or anything like that, I swear. We can just forget that I said anything, please-" He moved to get off the bed. 

"No!" Jay grabbed at Tim's sleeve. "Stay." 

He sat back onto the bed, looking like a child about to be scolded. 

Jay appeared to be wrestling with himself internally. "Tim- I. It was you." 

"I was who?" 

Jay made a few frustrated noises-which Tim definitely did not find extremely endearing- then he let out an anxious huff. "You. You're the crush I mentioned before." 

"Oh." Did Tim hear him right? Jay had a crush on _him_? Was that past or present tense? His mind was reeling. 

"Yeah." Was all Jay responded, pointedly not looking at the other man. 

"So, um. Do you...do you still have...that crush on me?" He hated to ask, and yet he had to know. 

"Very much so." 

"Oh." He said again. 

They sat on the bed as far apart as they could be, taking in everything in from that moment silently. Tim was stunned. How could he like a person so much and not realize that that person also liked him? How long had Jay had these feelings? Does that mean they are going to get together? How would that change their current situation, if at all? He was lost in uncertainty. 

"I kind of can't believe it." Jay was the one that finally broke the quiet. 

"What?" 

"I can’t believe that _you_ like _me_." He clarified, scooting slightly closer. 

"There are more unbelievable things, Jay." He rolled his eyes at his companion, and Jay cracked a little smile. 

"Like what?" 

"Like you never kissing someone." 

Jay's face looked like it was burning up. "It’s MORE unbelievable for you, I can promise you that." 

Tim leaned over, shifting his weight onto his arm. "And why is that?" He was pretty flustered, but he hoped Jay couldn't tell. He'd never really flirted with anyone before. 

"Because-because. You're dreamy!" Jay blurted out, then brought a hand to his face, embarrassed.

Tim's eyebrows shot up. "Did you just call me _dreamy_? In an unironic way? What decade did you time travel from?” His mouth upturned crookedly. 

Jay turned and grabbed the pillow from behind him. "I'm trying to compliment you, you asshole!" He then smacked Tim on the side of the head with it. 

"Oof!" Tim scrambled, trying to snatch the pillow away from the other man. They began fighting over the pillow, almost like tug-o-war. Both were laughing breathlessly, and with one final pull, Jay ended up nearly in Tim's lap. Their noses were nearly touching.

“I really want to kiss you.” Tim whispered nervously.

Jay blanched, eyes widening, but didn’t move.

“We don’t have to, I just thought-“Tim’s hurried retraction was interrupted when Jay surged forward and pressed their lips together. It was by no means a great kiss, it was slightly off, and Jay’s mouth was a bit too tight to be comfortable. They broke apart nearly as quickly as the kiss happened.

“That was really bad, wasn’t it?” Jay asked meekly. Color ruddying his cheeks yet again.

Tim cupped the man’s face and connected their lips, over and over, then on his forehead and nose. “Who cares? It’s not like I would know. You’re the only person I’ve ever kissed.” Jay hummed appreciatively.

They moved to laying on their sides, exchanging small kisses and innocent touches, talking about everything and nothing for quite some time.

“So,” Tim prompted. “Did I do a good job?”

Jay furled his eyebrows. “What are you talking about?”

“Are you thoroughly distracted?” He lifted one eyebrow, hoping Jay would catch on.

“I still don’t-oh!” Jay had recalled how their entire conversation started in the first place. “I guess you did. I haven’t really thought about…what’s going on since we started talking. For good reason! But…” he trailed off.

“But…?”

“But I think I need to be distracted some more.” He said slyly, leaning into Tim’s space.

“I can do that.” Tim chuckled.

And he did just as he wanted to do a little over an hour before, and kissed Jay- _his boyfriend_ \- absolutely senseless.

**Author's Note:**

> dreamy was, in fact, used regularly in the 40s and 50s by teens. jay is just a dork who doesn't know how to flirt and frankly i relate.
> 
> hmu on tumblr !! i'm realityrewind on there and i love yelling about mh and jam


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